How God Prepared Me For The Storm

Since Hurricane Harvey entered our lives, leaving a lasting impact on our family, I have had a lot of time to think and meditate while spending my quiet moments with God. My family and I have been able to feel His presence and His peace and provision throughout all that has happened. 

It has now been two weeks since my last post. It has been two weeks since I walked into my home which was filled with about a foot of water.  It has been two weeks since my heart completely broke as I saw all our belongings floating around our house.  At that time, the floodwater was continuing to rise in our home, as the rain had not ceased and would continue to come down heavily for at least one more full day. Eventually the water level inside our house would reach 23 inches and the water level outside our home would reach 42 inches. We evacuated our home on Sunday. We went back on Monday to retrieve some items. We would not be back inside our home until Wednesday afternoon, after walking through still-high waters, wearing waders and rainboots. On that day, we saw how high the water level had risen in our home, which had since receded some. 

Though I thought I would, I did not cry. I had spent the previous day talking to God and listening to Him answer me. He had begun showing me how He had already prepared me for this event in our lives. He had been doing a work in me, deepening my faith and reliance upon Him. God had been challenging my thinking and my heart since the beginning of the year.  Hurricane Harvey took us by surprise but God had been doing a work in me to prepare me for what was to come.  

A Lesson On Obedience

November will mark 3 years since we moved into our house. That was November in 2014.  In January of that same year I had created a Notes tab on my phone with Goals I made for that year. Number One on that list was to organize our entire house. Number two on that list was to host a bible study at our home. At that time, in January 2014, I had only been reading my bible regularly for a short while, for less than a year. I know that desire was put in my heart by God but there were feelings of fear, intimidation and inadequacy that crept in every time I thought about doing it. That year I had finished organizing my house and we ended up putting our house on the market in August. It sold quickly but we had been unlucky in finding the perfect home for our family. When we went to view our current home, almost as soon as we walked into the house, I felt something and I remember clearly thinking: “This is a good home to host a bible study.”

We bought the house and in December of that year I even bought myself a gift from Santa—the Priscilla Shirer Jonah bible study.  I had every intention of starting that bible study in 2015 in our new home. Then 2016 came around. I had every intention of starting that study in 2016. As the year 2016 was coming to an end, I remember the Lord speaking clearly to me that I needed to start that bible study. I remember having a conversation with my sister—maybe even multiple conversations—about hosting this bible study and she continued to encourage me.

In January of 2017, I finally told God that I was done with making excuses. I remember being so transparent with him about my fears and He calmed every single one of them. He constantly asked me, “Who is this about? Is it about you or is it about me?” Every time I became frustrated about putting in so much time into preparing for the study, with preparing conversation starters, to having something for the ladies to eat and drink, to making sure the house was clean enough, God would always make sure my heart was in check. He would tell me time and time again to remove myself from the equation. He would tell me to stop focusing on what I could or could not do. He wanted to make sure that I was doing all of this for Him and for His glory and not to look good or holy to people. I know that I was not qualified to host this bible study because I struggled (for many years) with keeping my house clean and orderly. I was not qualified to lead this bible study because I was not as well versed in the Bible as so many other women I knew. I was not qualified to lead this bible study because I was not a person who organizes events.  I’m still not that person. I am usually the one who signs up to bring something.

But God.

I’m sad to say that I lost many of my bible study journals in the flood and the Jonah bible study book was one of them. However, there was one question that came up early in that bible study which I still remember very clearly today. The question was this:

How would you react if God asked you to leave all your possessions, your home, your job behind and go somewhere new?

My first gut response was that I would be obedient to God. Then, I started thinking about my husband and his job. I started thinking about the kids and about where they would go to school. Slowly but surely my answer began to change until I eventually shared with the women, “If my husband was on board, then yes, I would leave it all behind.”

I remember God doing a big work IN ME during that study. I remember telling God that I felt that this bible study was more for me than for the women there. I can imagine that God just chuckled at that moment. I can picture His giddiness and excitement because His beloved child was beginning to understand the lesson that He was trying to teach. By the end of that study, I had already made up my mind that I would follow God wherever He took me. I knew deep in my heart that if He asked me something so BIG then He would already prepare my husband for the same thing. I know that God is a God of order and of unity. He works in miraculous and mighty ways!

I led another Priscilla Shirer bible study following the Jonah bible study. It was the bible study that ignited a fire in my heart for Christ a few years before. It was the bible study that led me and my family to start attending Grace Church. It was the Gideon bible study. This study came at such a perfect time because though I had done it before, I was now in a new season in my walk with the LORD. Gideon resembles so many of us who struggle with feeling insecure and who are filled with fears and doubts. Gideon was a person who was the least in his family. His family was the least in his tribe. He was the least of the least. But that is not how God saw him. God saw Gideon, and He sees us, by our potential within. He calls us by who He created us to be.

In the middle of the Gideon bible study God began speaking very loudly about something that would affect our entire family.  He started pointing me in the direction of homeschooling the kids. All of them. The oldest was already in high school by this time. Our second daughter was in junior high. I tried to convince God that it would be a good idea to allow the oldest two girls to stay in public school while I homeschooled the younger two. Ha! That’s another lesson He had been teaching me: once God speaks something, He will not change His mind about it.  It is simply our duty to obey, which I have learned will always be to our benefit anyway.

I remember telling the kids in May, after I had asked for prayer and received confirmation and peace from God that this was what He wanted me to do.  Our oldest took it the hardest. She was so upset and expressed how badly she desired to continue to go to high school. Our junior higher was also upset, though she wasn’t as vocal about it. The little ones were excited, which I sort of expected.  When the older girls asked me why I was doing it I would simply tell them that I was being obedient to God. Of course, it hurt my heart to see them so upset. But I have also begun to experience the rewards that follow, after being obedient to God. God doesn’t ask to be understood because we simply cannot begin to understand the complexities of His amazing sovereignty and divinity. However, what I do know is that His ways are higher. His timing is always perfect, despite how we may feel in the season of waiting on a prayer to be answered.  What I have learned after years of stubbornness and rebellion and prideful thinking is that I am nothing without God. I know that following God leads to victory, despite what the situation around me looks like.

Receiving His Blessings

Harvey flooded our house and our vehicles, including my husband’s work vehicles.  My husband and I have never been in a place of need. We have always been in a position where we have been able to bless others and to donate money to a lot of people. Since we temporarily lost our home and vehicles, God has blessed us in abundance. We haven’t even had to ask anyone for any help. God is simply using His people to bless us with what we need, with more than we need. God used a wonderful family to offer us a home to live in temporarily. They were in the process of selling this home and are willing to delay the sale of their home so that my family and I can live here. God has blessed us with family members who have offered to lend us their vehicles so that my husband is able to work and I am able to get around with the kids. God has used His angels to send us clothing, shoes, furniture, gift cards, cash and check donations, warm meals, new cookware. God is using His prayer warriors to cover us in prayer. God has brought new friends, old friends, acquaintances and strangers to our home to help clean up and cut out sheetrock. He used his angels to bring us meals, drinks and supplies for all the people helping. He has overwhelmed us with His love and provision during this season.

My children have been able to ease back into schoolwork while we are in a temporary living arrangement. We have had so many people give our kids hugs and love on them during this time.  I’ve had plenty of time to sit with the kids and talk about God’s goodness in all of this. I’ve been able to pray with the them and we have been able to pray for other people. We are blessed more than you can imagine!  In the middle of this season that we are in, because God continues to be faithful, we have also been able to continue to bless others in need. I know that God will continue to take care of our every need and that I don’t need to worry about a timeline or about how things will work out. What I am confident in is that God already has the solution and all I have to do is to continue to seek Him and to be obedient to Him in every way.

At first, my husband did not want to receive any help or gifts from anybody. He kept saying that we were fine. Still, I knew that we could not rob God of what He was trying to do. He had already put the desire in the hearts of people to be a blessing to us. Therefore, we had to receive the blessing so that God could then bless each of them for being obedient to Him. That is who God is. We can never outgive Him in anything. Every time that you spend with Him—whether it is worshipping Him, praying, reading His Word, listening to devotionals—all of those deposits will be there to withdraw from in your time of need. 

Today, I have no doubt that we are able to feel His peace and love more than ever because of the times that we have been faithful during the good times. God will never leave us and He will never forsake us. In the midst of any storm, He is already with us. His desire is to always take care of us and to love on us in every season of our lives. We must simply be open to receive the blessings in the way that He chooses to give them.  When we lose things which we value and perhaps even take for granted, is when we have the greatest opportunity to grow in our intimacy with the Lord.

God doesn’t send us suffering. We suffer because it is a part of this life. I know that losing someone you love is a much greater loss and an even greater pain than losing possessions. But God is still God. He is still able to make beauty out of ashes. He is able to turn our sorrow into a new kind of joy. He is able to use our tears for our good and for His honor and glory. The only thing that we have to do is to allow Him to do just that. We cannot change the past. We can only go forward. You either try to move forward in your own strength, replaying what happened to you, over and over again. You might even try to think about how you should have or could have made different choices that would have helped you to avoid being in your current situation. You may even choose to label yourself as a victim and live in the shadow of what happened to you. You can do that or you can choose to receive the blessings that are coming your way, as you remain faithful to our Lord in the midst of your storm.  

As for me and my family, we choose to serve the Lord. There is still a lot of work to be done. We are still waiting for the car insurance adjuster to come examine our flooded vehicles. We still have to itemize everything that we lost in the flood.  We are still sorting through things that weren’t damaged in the storm. We are boxing things up. We need to move some things to storage. We still need to find people to work on the house. We still do not know a lot of things. I am still homeschooling the kids, trying to get into a sort of rhythm and schedule.  There is still cleaning and laundry that needs to be done.  Still, I am simply overwhelmed at the kindness and generosity of so many people in our lives, even those we have met through other people. God is so good. I encourage you to take a moment today to focus on your blessings. No matter what difficult season you may be facing right now, focus on God’s love for you. Then, begin to thank Him for all that He’s done, for all that He’s doing and for all that He will continue to do in your future. Believe it and receive the blessings, all in the name of Jesus.  

Romans 5:3-5New Living Translation (NLT)

3 We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. 4 And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation.5 And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love.