One Creator, One Design
It has been a little over one month since we've been home--still trying to find the right pieces of furniture, trying to organize, gradually moving stuff back home, still cleaning and trashing things that need to be trashed. This has definitely been a long and grueling process. Yet, it has blessed us in more ways than we can count.
I recently purchased some IKEA furniture, for the first time ever. I figured it was a smart and budget-friendly option for the kids rooms. Besides, I really like the look of some of the furniture pieces so I decided to order the furniture, once I had discussed it with my husband. Please keep in mind that I do have my own drill and am familiar with using basic tools, except for a hammer. I just figured--how hard could it be? Right?
Oh, how wrong I was to assume that it would be an easy project! I decided to use IKEA's Click & Collect option. I figured I would save me the time of walking through the store and collecting the items myself. So I ordered three pieces of furniture--two dressers and one storage unit--on Thursday night and they had it ready for me to pick up at 10 am, Friday morning. Easy peasy! I was already impressed and pretty proud of myself for the time I had already saved.
I could hardly wait to get home and begin to assemble the furniture. Can I just say that the pieces for each dresser came in 3 separate boxes. The storage unit came in two boxes but had many other parts that were not in boxes. Still, I felt confident that I would be able to put all three pieces of furniture together in no time at all. I know, I know. Those of you who've experienced putting an IKEA dresser together before are probably laughing so hard right now!
Anyway, I opened Box 1 of the first dresser. I removed the pieces and inside of Box 1 were the tools for each box. The bags were labeled 1, 2 and 3. So I assumed that all the pieces I would need to assemble in Part 1 were inside Box 1. I assumed that all the pieces I would need to assemble in Part 2 would be inside of Box 2. I thought the same for Box 3. Well, apparently that is NOT how it works! After several minutes of going through every piece in Box 1 and comparing it to the picture in Step 1--trying to figure out which pieces from Box 1 were the pieces in the picture instructions for Step 1, I was already in complete despair and frustration.
However, I was determined to put that dresser together! It suddenly occured to me to search for a YouTube video tutorial on how to assemble that specific piece of furniture. I was so relieved that someone did indeed make a tutorial that consisted of three videos--one for each step--on how to assemble the dresser! So I gathered all the tools that I would need and I was blessed because Emily decided that she wanted to help me. After that, any time we got stuck on trying to figure out what piece to use, we would refer to the video. We completed assembling the dresser in two separate sessions that took us about 6 hours to complete.
The second dresser that we put together took us about half the time because we had a better understanding of how IKEA designed the pieces to go together and also because we had a better understanding of how IKEA designed the instruction manual itself.
There is a point to me telling you all of this. The past couple of weeks have been so wonderful in my marriage. God has been doing a new thing. My husband and I recently celebrated our 17th wedding anniversary. Then, this past weekend we attended an XO Marriage Conference at our church. It was amazing and wonderful and refreshing in so many ways. Upon reflecting on the mighty work that God has done in me, I wanted to write this blog to help encourage someone who might be struggling in their marriage today.
God created ONE design for marriage. Despite that, He has a unique purpose and plan for every marriage. In order for that purpose to be fulfilled, however, we must be fully submitted to His will. There may be times when we see others succeeding in marriage and we might begin to compare or contrast our marriage with theirs. I urge you and I plead you to not fall for that trap. That is a mere distraction of the enemy. I have had many discussions with friends and loved ones about their struggles in marriage. One thing that I have learned is how sneaky the enemy can be in deceiving us. But I can also assure you that God has a plan for your marriage to not simply survive, but to thrive!
God--being so ONE-derful in His ways--created ONE design for marriage. He also gave us ONE manual that teaches us how to successfully assemble our marriage to look how He intended for it to look. He gave us the Bible. The Bible isn't simply meant to be read. It isn't simply meant to be memorized. It is meant to be applied. We are meant to follow the instructions of His life-giving--life-sustaining--source.
Let me talk about my IKEA dresser for a moment. It would have done me no good to simply look over the manual. It would have been of no benefit to me to memorize the instructions. In order to turn the pieces of wood into an actual dresser, I had to follow the instructions, one tiny step at a time, before I could even begin to see a glimpse of the finished result. After 2.5 hours of assembling the IKEA dresser it didn't look anything at all like a dresser. Yet, we knew that we were making progress.
So we persisted, we continued and we refused to give up on following the given instructions. Nowhere, in the middle of it did I randomly decide that I had a better idea of how to assemble the dresser. I didn't toss the directions, calling them irrational or illogical, and decide to make up my own instructions to finish assembling the dresser. No. I knew that each piece of wood had predrilled holes, where specific screws and particular dowels were meant to go. In the same way, you have specific holes--or needs--within you, in the way that God created you. God created only your husband to be able to meet those needs for you. In the same way, your spouse has specific holes, or needs, within him. God brought the two of you together because you are the only one who is able to meet those needs for him.
At the end of the day, all IKEA Hemnes dressers in the world, once fully assembled, will all look exactly the same. If people want to make their dresser unique, they can change the hardware or even paint it. But that person will have to put in the time and effort if they are determined to make their dresser a one of a kind.
God created a specific design for marriage. He also provided us with a manual for our marriage--His living Word. Not only that, He has given us our own Helper--the Holy Spirit. Still, God cannot do the work for us. We have to be willing to open up the bible. We have to be determined to apply what it says. We have to commit to be fully submitted to His will in every way. Once you combine your own efforts with God's supernatural power, your marriage will become the beautiful marriage that you have been desiring and praying for.
Today, if you are desiring to make your marriage all that God intended for it to be, I would highly encourage you to do the following:
1. Check the manual.
Go straight to the source of the ONE who is FOR you! Read it daily!
2. Choose to obey the manual.
Let go of all control and let God work how only He can! Completely yield to His ways every day! If it doesn't make sense then it's probably God's way.
3. Commit to doing what is right.
If you are following the instructions in the manual, you are definitely headed in the right direction. Even if after several days, weeks or months of yielding to God's will looks like nothing is happening on the outside, I can assure you that it is. He is building your faith and endurance. Remember that His ways are higher. Forgive your spouse. Focus on serving your spouse and his/her needs over your own. Over time you will begin to see a change in your marriage. Praise God!
4. Compliment the Source.
Just like I needed to find a YouTube video to help me understand the IKEA instruction manual, it's okay if you need to find another source to help you understand God's Manual. Simply choose carefully and be sure that it's properly aligned with God's truth. I didn't look for a YouTube video on how to sew a quilt to help me assemble my dresser. Find a source that compliments and aligns with God's Word.
5. Collaborate with others.
I was blessed with Emily's help. Choose someone trustworthy to pray for you and to encourage you on your difficult days. You don't want someone telling you what you want to hear. You want someone to tell you the truth because they genuinely love you and care for you. Emily had the same goal that I did. Find people who want your marriage to be successful for the long haul, not just for the here and now.
6. Continue until the finish line.
In the same way that I needed to refer to the manual more than once, our manual for living is meant to be referenced on a regular basis--sometimes more than once a day. We need to make sure that every decision that we make honors God and not our flesh desires. In doing so, we are guaranteeing ourselves the victory!
7. Complacency kills.
Continue to seek God daily! Never stop praying for yourself. Even when we assembled the second dresser, we continued to use the manual and went in the proper order. Though we had already assembled one dresser, we wanted to make sure to not to skip any steps when assembling the second dresser. Don't ever become overly confident in your own abilities. Continue to rely on God for everything.
That's all that I have for you today. I pray that God blesses your marriage. I pray that you feel encouraged to continue the course. God really is for you! When you put ALL of your trust in HIM alone, He will never fail you. He will never leave you and He will never forsake you! The change you are praying for won't always be immediate. It might change a little, and then you may feel like you are stuck in the same gear. You might even feel like you are moving backwards at times. Stay the course. Continue to read the manual and apply it to you. God will always come through for you! Persevere! Never stop investing in your marriage! Keep fighting! Your marriage is worth your very best efforts!
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