Resting In Him
There have been many times in my life when I have tried to do things in my own strength and my own abilities. I have relied on my own thinking and on my own strategies because I am a woman who likes to have a plan. In my mind, any successful plan has to make sense on paper. That’s what I used to think for a very long time.
Can anyone else relate?
Before I began to pursue an intimate relationship with my Lord Jesus Christ, there were very few things that I achieved—with a plan—that brought me true satisfaction. Once I achieved one thing, I was quickly looking for the next thing to do. Once I became a young adult, I tried to remain focused on my plan for my life. In the end, my life ended up being the complete opposite of what I envisioned it to be.
First: I grew up never wanting to get married or have any children.
Reality: I met my husband at the age of 17. We were married at 20, and we had 4 kids before the age of 30.
Second: I wanted to work my way up the corporate ladder at some big company, living in a different state.
Reality: After becoming a young wife and mother, we stayed put. I rewrote my plan (many times) and decided to obtain a teaching degree. (It’s so funny to even think about how confident I was in believing that I was completely in control of my life back then!)
Third: We wanted to be financially secure, and felt that could only be possible by the two of us earning an income.
Reality: God asked me to quit my job while I was pregnant with our second child, in late 2003. On paper, my husband’s job would not be able to cover all of our expenses. We ended up compromising with God and I went back to work part-time.
Eventually, I did quit my job in December 2007. Three months later, I found out we were expecting our third child (which was not part of our plan). Again, I rewrote the plan. In 2009, we found out that we were expecting baby #4. Shortly after that, my husband quit his job to start up his own business.
Needless to say, I stopped trying to rewrite the plan. It was only then, when I finally realized that I had never been in complete control of my life. I began to realize that God’s presence was around me, calling me, drawing me closer to Him. I realized that the prayers that I had been praying were not falling on deaf ears. I was beginning to understand that I needed to be still and to listen for His voice.
That process began in 2011. It did take me a while to learn to completely let go and let God. I’m so thankful that I finally did. I will admit that the process did not come easy. It came with great sacrifice, a lot of tears, a lot of mistakes and having to start over again. Over the past couple of years, God has been walking me deeper through this season of being still and resting in Him. And He has proved Himself faithful every single time. When my flesh is tempted to do something outside of His will, He gently reminds me of the chaos and heartache that I always end up in when I try to be in the driver’s seat of my life. Not to mention, I am also reminded of all the time and energy that I waste for nothing! I now know, without a shadow of doubt, that His will always comes to pass, no matter what I do to try to manipulate or change it.
As my Lord began to guide me into resting in His presence, I would find it very difficult to quiet my mind before Him. There were many things that would try to distract me from resting in Him—important things. Time with family, time with friends, unexpected sickness, laundry, dishes, unexpected events, random interruptions of life.
But I felt the Lord drawing me closer towards Him. The more that I rested in Him during the difficult seasons of my life, the more that I experienced His love and faithfulness. The more that I experienced His love and faithfulness, the more that I desired to rest in Him. I began to understand the correlation between resting in Him and experiencing His love and faithfulness.
Every. Single. Time.
I realized that if I desired to see God move in miraculous and unnatural ways in my life, I had to learn to be still and to trust Him fully.
Over the past year God has called me to do some pretty big things, which have led me to rely on Him more deeply. Our family had to walk through some pretty big and unplanned hardships while we were simultaneously walking through a season of learning.
You see, last year God called me to start homeschooling the kids. After a little bit of resistance, I decided to seek confirmation and reassurance through prayer, which He gave. When Hurricane Harvey hit us, I began to feel overwhelmed by trying to homeschool the kids while we had to go through completely rebuilding our home. The old me—who often tried to find a logical and reasonable solution for every problem—may have decided to enroll the kids back into public school. It would have been easier for me. It would have seemed like a rational decision. Except by this time, I had already learned to trust in God and not in man—especially not myself.
You see, homeschooling my kids had nothing to do with them but it had everything to do with me. Would I pass the test when God asked me to do something challenging? Not only that, what about when something crazy and unexpected would make that task a number of times harder? In my first year? As I’m trying to figure it all out? Would I try to rely on myself to seek logical solutions from the internet or from friends? Or would I rely on Him solely to do that which He Himself called me to do? I chose to trust in God. Fully. No more doubting. No more questioning. Just letting go and letting Him lead me wherever He desires to take me.
You know what I picture in my mind? My Abba Father looking down on me with such a proud smile on His face. I imagine Him crying tears of joy, knowing that what He has been trying to teach me for more than a decade, I have finally learned. I imagine Him being so proud of me for finally learning to trust fully in Him, even when what He is asking me to do doesn’t make any sense in my mind. Even when the timing seems inconvenient. Even when others will probably question my decisions.
At the beginning of this year, God began to tell me that I needed to step back from some things. Of course, I obeyed and gradually began to step away from the things that He was asking me to let go of. But the beginning of the year was super busy for me, as I completed certain things that I had already committed to. I did enjoy doing those things and they did fill me with some sense of purpose. Yet, as the weeks of the year progressed, I began to understand why the Lord was pulling me away from them.
You see, I had to let go of things that were not a part of His will, so that I could successfully execute those things that were and are part of His will for my life. God equips us and empowers us to do those things which He calls us to do. Yet, often times we say yes to things before we pray. We just say yes and we jump right in. After a while, however, we might begin to feel overwhelmed by our responsibilities. We may begin to lose our zeal for the things that we are meant to do because we are so busy with the things that we have no business doing.
I don’t know if you have ever felt completely overwhelmed by an overbooked schedule. The things on your schedule may not necessarily be bad. Many of them—if not all—may actually be kingdom related. Still, you might be filled with overwhelming anxiety. Maybe you try to rationalize all that you are doing by using a very popular scripture:
“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” —Philippians 4:13
But you know what God spoke to me? He helped me to see that while He is indeed our strength, and while He does in fact empower us to do anything, this scripture has a hidden message attached to it.
“I can do all things—which He has called me to—through His strength that empowers me.”
God can and He will empower us. BUT He will only empower us to do the things which He has called us to do. If your calendar is filled with things which He has not called you to do, those are the very things that will drain your energy and sap your joy and keep you from excelling in the very thing that He has called you to do.
The only way that I was able to learn what His will is for my life is by spending time resting in Him. Even when I have a million things to do, I never take for granted the moments of resting in Him. I take time to read over His word and listen attentively for what He desires to speak to my heart. I make it a point to ask Him to point out anything that I may be doing that is outside of His will and to help me let go of it with dignity and grace.
Today, I encourage you to ignore the laundry. Ignore the to-do list. Put on some quiet worship music in the background, if it helps. But take the time to be still before Him. Hide in your closet. Go sit in your car. Lock the door to the bathroom. It doesn’t matter where. Just be still. Just quiet your mind before Him. Listen for His voice. Rest in Him.
You might be facing a big storm. Perhaps, you’re facing a big battle, one which seems like the victory is impossible. Take that issue to the Lord your God and be encouraged with these words from 2 Chronicles 20:17 NKJV:
“ ‘You will not need to fight in this battle. Position yourselves, stand still and see the salvation of the LORD, who is with you!’ Do not fear or be dismayed, for the LORD is with you.”
If you continue reading verse 18, King Jehoshaphat responds in such a beautiful way. I encourage you to do the same.
“And Jehoshaphat bowed his head with his face to the ground, and all Judah and the inhabitants of Jerusalem bowed before the LORD, worshiping the LORD.” 2 Chronicles 20:18
I encourage you to read that entire chapter. You will be able to read about the overwhelming odds stacked against Judah, and how God—faithful to His promise—delivered them from the hands of the enemy. How? It didn’t happen in a logical way. Not one person from Judah had to lift a sword or weapon. Nope. The weapon of choice—worship and praise to the LORD! My sister once said these very powerful words:
When facing a difficult situation, make WORship your WARship!!!
You will have the victory every single time!
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