The Process of Obedience

Lately, God has been showing me signs of where He wants to take me and my husband and our family in the future. He has shown me visions of things that are to come.  And in these visions He gives me hope for the future, just as He promises in Jeremiah 29:11.

Despite this, I can truthfully say that this journey that I’m currently on, heading towards that future, is not always easy and can even be emotionally draining at times. This road to redemption and restoration has me really meditating on my life before Christ and even on some of my decisions and actions since accepting Christ into my heart. Because you see, I am not perfect. I have flaws and I have made poor decisions, even since I started my walk with the LORD. There have been times when I didn’t want to be humble and when I didn’t want to keep my mouth shut. There have been times where I have known what I was doing or saying was wrong; yet I didn’t stop myself from doing it or from saying it. I’m human. I’m flawed. I have freedom to choose.

This makes me realize that I must rely on the power of the Holy Spirit within me to help me make the tough, right choices. Still, it is up to me whether I walk in the Spirit or whether I walk in my flesh. Who do I want to represent today, or in this moment? I know what the answer should always be but I also know that it isn’t always so.  Last September I attended a Freedom Conference at my church that completely changed my life forever! Since then, the decision to walk in the Spirit has become easier for me, as my heart genuinely desires to fully walk out the life that Christ has set out for me to live. My mess-ups and my mistakes have become less severe and less frequent.

I now live this life with a humble heart, making sure that I try my absolute best to reflect the love of Christ. In the midst of this, I am very hopeful when I see a change for the good in my teenage daughters, who knew me in my BC days. In those ‘Before-Christ’ days I was trying to be a mom the best way that I knew how but I admit that I was failing them miserably. It wasn’t until I met the Lord that He began to guide me to become the mom that I needed to be for those beautiful kids which He blessed me with. My oldest child has seen the biggest transformation in me. Now, as I read the Word with them, pray with them, pray for them, as I teach them about God’s unique love for them, I am beginning to see glimpses of change. It has not been immediate and some changes happen for a while and then begin to disappear. I understand that this is all a process. I understand that my girls also have the freedom to choose whether to seek God or whether to give in to the temptations of their flesh.

As a parent, especially because I am not a very patient person, waiting to see that full-blown transformation in them is difficult for me.  There are times when I am tempted to ask God, “When will it happen?” But I know better. I know that God loves them just as much as He loves me. I know that His ways are higher than my ways. I also know that His timing is impeccable. Lastly, I also know that whatever God has for my kids cannot be taken away from them by anyone else. God already has a preordained destiny for each one of them. It is simply my job to teach them about Him, to teach them to seek Him and to pursue Him and He will be there to guide them into the destiny that He has for them.

Even though I know that I cannot control them, it is very difficult for me to watch my kids not behave how I want them to. It’s very hard for me to extend grace and mercy when they roll their eyes or show a grumpy face after I’ve repeatedly given them instructions to complete their daily chores or devotionals. It’s very hard for me to represent Jesus in those moments of frustration. So I asked God, “Why? Why is it so hard for me to remain calm when they don’t do what I say the first time I ask them?” God lovingly reminded me that I once was that way towards Him. I was once a rebellious child. He was trying to get my attention, and when He finally did and told me to do something, I often times wouldn’t do it right away. I would try to find an alternate solution to what He was asking me to do. I would partially obey.  I know that God does not like partial obedience. He wants us to completely humble ourselves and to completely yield to His will.

Through my own children, God is allowing me to see what He sees in us when we partially obey Him. I believe that it is important for Him to show me this because He wants me to have a clear and deep understanding of what He feels every time I choose social media over reading my bible. He doesn’t want me to talk about my problems or sometimes He might not even want me to go to others for prayer right away. There are times when He may want me to go straight to Him. He is allowing me to feel what He feels every time I pray in a hurry or with a distracted mind, thinking of all the things that I need to do that particular day. He needs me to realize that though I may be seeking Him and His presence, though I pray and read my bible, God only really cares about my heart. How is my heart during that time that I am seeking Him and pursuing Him?  Is it filled with peace and with joy?  Is it filled with a yearning and a desire to hear from Him? Or is it distracted? Is it worried about anything? Am I doing it because I know I should do it or am I actually trying to hear from Him?

It is usually those closest to us who can trigger us in the worst way. It is usually those closest to us, whom we set the highest expectations for. It is also those closest to us who have the potential to bring out the best in us when we turn to God! When we stop trying to control them and start praying for them is when we will begin to see God move in miraculous ways! When we pray for wisdom and for guidance from the Holy Spirit it is also important to not act until you hear clear direction from Him. The best thing to do is to focus on yourself and on your own obedience to the LORD.  You see, as I’m trying to make my children become obedient, God is also doing a work in me to also be obedient to Him. We cannot expect from others what we are not willing to do ourselves. And I know that partial obedience will simply delay the promises that God has for me and my family. I do not want to delay any of God’s promises for me or for my husband or my children.  I know now that the road to redemption and restoration leads to VICTORY!  The way to victory is contingent on me living out and being an example of what I’m expecting to see in others.  My victory will come, so long as I remain obedient to Christ alone.  The hope for the future is what makes my obedience very worth the effort!

Heavenly Father, I thank you for your guidance and for your wisdom that comes freely when we ask for it. Forgive us Lord, when we turn to you in the midst of our crisis, and still choose to ignore your command. Forgive us when we are desperate to hear from you and ignore you when what we hear from you does not match up to what we wanted to hear from you. Oh Lord, in your perfect love for us, shape us more in your likeness. Teach us how to be humble so that we can reflect your light in a greater way, especially to those that are closest to us.  Help us to focus on our obedience to you before we expect others to be obedient to us. Father, we give you full access to every corner of our hearts. Remove from them what does not come from you and anything that isn't pleasing to you, oh Lord. Please make a lasting change in us, a change so deep that it will yield many blessings in our families for generations to come. We love you, LORD. We give you thanks and praise! In Jesus's most powerful and holy name I pray. Amen and amen.